Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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