And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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