3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize