She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
