if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
