Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
