Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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