No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
