Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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