He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize