I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
