hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
