she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize