Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you win again, gameday.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
