brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
