Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize