i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
two words: eviction party
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
