So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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