Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
