every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
