What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
