she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
