Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
