So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
