I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
