I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize