I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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