i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
