i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
