I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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