I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
