Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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