I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
