He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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