you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't deserve a penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
