Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
