I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
