I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
No offense, but I donโt think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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