I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
