I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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