im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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