He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
