Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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