you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
