remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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