but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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