Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
