i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
