Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
