It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
