my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
