he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
