absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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