in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
