How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
