We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
