Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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