i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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