Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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