u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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