is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
