hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
