this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
