wakey wakey hands off snakey
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
