god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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