wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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