He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
